(1982)
Dir - Philippe Mora
Overall: MEH
For a horror movie, forgoing story and character development for gruesomeness and making the death scenes as memorable as possible is a common route to take. The Beast Within was rushed into production before Edward Levy's novel that it was supposed to be based on was even finished, with future filmmaker Tom Holland here screenwriting to the best of his abilities by basically only being able to go off of the title. There is a beast and he does seem to lurk within one of the characters so, job well done there. Director Philippe Mora digs up some textbook atmosphere throughout, but the plotting is meandering. Everyone on screen is either boring or unlikable, so nothing that they are engaged in is all that interesting. It is basically people going missing, other people going to look for them, violently murdered bodies being found, then rinse and repeat. It does not help much when up until the last twenty minutes, your villain is just a sweaty teenager who opens his eyes wide and yells really loud. When he does go full air bladder monster transformation, it is a fun scene even if logically it is ridiculous that a room full of people just stand there watching it when one of them is armed and was fully intent on shooting him beforehand anyway.
(1987)
Dir - Lee Madden
Overall: WOOF
Lee Madden's final directorial effort was one of many that was credited to Alan Smithee which as history usually dictates, is not a good sign. Another lighthearted horror comedy from the era, Ghost Fever has a wacky enough premise of television mainstays Sherman Hemsley and Luis Ávalos buddy-copping it through a haunted Southern mansion, but the humor itself leaves everything to be desired. A low budget production to begin with that was kept from being released for two years allegedly due to various re-edits and re-shoots, the finished product is coherent yet also relentlessly lousy. The novelty of seeing an African American and a Latino man square-off against a bigoted plantation owner from beyond the grave means that racism is played for laughs, but so is slavery torture, groin humor, mild profanity, an embarrassing dance-off, and lots of people falling down. As far as ghoulish elements go, there is a voodoo curse, a vampire, some ghosts that are visible for no reason, ghosts that are invisible for no reason and have to dress as a mummy to be seen, zombies, a séance, fog, a dungeon, crumbling catacombs, and ectoplasm pills. Also, heavyweight champ Joe Frazier. The whole thing is neither spooky enough to be fun, dumb enough to be funny, or funny enough to be funny.
(1988)
Dir - Fred Olen Ray
Overall: GOOD
Prolific B-movie maverick Fred Olen Ray delivered one of the most truth-in-advertising exploitation films of the decade with the gleefully stupid Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, (Hollywood Hookers in the UK since the word "chainsaw" was outlawed by censors). Made on a budget that looks like some pocket change at best, the entire premise is ridiculous on paper and just as ridiculous on camera. The cast is delightfully in on it and features scream queens Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer as well as Leatherface himself Gunnar Hansen as a mild-mannered, chainsaw cult leader because that is a thing in this movie. Ray keeps the proceedings bloody, naked, and silly throughout, stylizing everything as an classic noir, with Jay Richardson's hard boiled private eye, (or private "dick" which gets as many jokes out of it as you would guess), narrating everything. It drags in a few places and many of the gags are more funny due to how purposely groan-worthy they are than anything else, but the movie basks in its absurdity and juvenile sleaze. Naked ladies of the evening eagerly chop up their clients with a generous amount of blood-splatter and limb-tossing carnage, plus the movie spoofs multiple genres in the most intentionally low-rent way possible. What more could anyone want based on such ingredients? Not bloody well much.
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