(1976)
Dir - Ralph Nelson
Overall: MEH
Largely mislabeled as a horror film, Embryo is a mad scientist romp minus the romp. By 1976, a countless number of movies had been made where some brilliant doctor with good intentions unleashes a creation that goes along fine up until a point where unforeseen complications arise that emphasize the cautionary aspects of toying with nature. While Barbara Carrera's incredibly polite, innocently curious, artificially-grown super genius here is a refreshing enough tweak on the Frankenstein monster, the only thing concerning that takes place until about the last fifteen minutes of the film is when a dog kills another dog. This means that the plot is dominated by nothing more besides Rock Hudson simply teaching Carrera the ways of society and life, introducing her to acquaintances and trying to pass her off as just a really smart lab assistant. The only other somewhat memorable instance occurs with Roddy McDowall's cameo when she wipes the floor with him in a game of chess, letting him win in the last move to further infuriate his ego. Ultimately too boring and under-cooked as an engaging, "man playing god" story, it just has all of the makings of a forgettable, modestly budgeted 70s genre movie with a couple of notable names in the cast for good measure.
(1977)
Dir - Gordon Hessler
Overall: MEH
The NBC television movie The Strange Possession of Mrs. Oliver brings together star Karen Black and screenwriter Richard Matheson again after he scripted and she appeared in Dan Curtis' much popular Trilogy of Terror from two years prior. On paper, the concept of a mildly condescending, hotshot attorney's sheepish housewife who undergoes a supernatural transformation into a sexually liberated and independent woman is an effective one. It takes a similar angle to Ira Levin's novel and the subsequent film The Stepford Wives where the horror is in how domesticated women are conditioned to be subservient to their money-making husbands. Here though, there is no dark satirical angle and save for a nightmare sequence that appears twice, director Gordon Hessler fails to maintain a convincingly ominous atmosphere. Matheson's story is to blame as well though since it never arrives anywhere interesting and the mystery as to what or who is exactly overtaking Black's character likewise never entices and ultimately seems inconsequential to the overall theme. Performance wise though, Black is her usual assured self and pulls off the dual-role of sorts while George Hamilton is ideally cast as her dashing and ignoramus husband who probably means well if only to routinely apologize for his controlling mannerisms.
(1979)
Dir - Lawrence D. Foldes
Overall: WOOF
Out of the roughly seven-hundred and ninety-four "Don't" movies released in the 1970's and 80's, Don't Go Near the Park, (Night Stalker, Curse of the Living Dead), is probably the most amatuerish and relentlessly terrible. Writer/director Lawrence D. Foldes was nineteen during the production and if any case can be made that teenagers should not legally be allowed to make movies in the first place, this is a logical exhibit A. Right from the get go, the Hershell Gordon Lewis vibes come in hot with makeup and gore effects that a grade-school talent show would be ashamed of, awkwardly abysmal acting, a nonsensical story, rambling/completely unnatural dialog, stock cinematography, the same scenes showing up more than once, zero sense of urgency in the pacing department, and such wholesome ingredients as pedophilia, incest, child abuse, and cannibalism sprinkled in for edginess. Though it is forgettable in every area one could imagine, genre fans who are also gluttons for punishment may at least find it to be mandatory viewing since it contains Linnea Quigley's lead debut, (and yes, she does take her clothes off in it). Far too boring to make its tastelessness, ineptitude, and head-scratching stupidity engaging, it deserves all of the "DON'T watch this" jokes that it can get.
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