(1982)
Dir - Fabrice-Ange Zaphiratos
Overall: MEH
One of the strangest regional horror films in existence, Bloodbeat is an amatuerish, incomprehensible, and inconsistent mess that manages to be fascinating in fits and starts. Shot in Wisconsin exclusively with unprofessional actors and written and directed by one-time Vietnamese/French filmmaker Fabrice-Ange Zaphiratos, it has the usual clueless, DIY hallmarks including piss-poor sound design, horrendous pacing issues, flat cinematography that was accidentally shot in the wrong aspect ratio, and merely passable acting. At other times though, it is bizarrely atmospheric, best of all during an extended sequence where the samurai ghost, (yes that is the "slasher" killer in this), emerges on the main characters while their hippy painter mother has a psychic episode and the entire abode goes wacky with poltergeist activity. The music is a combination of Zaphiratos' own electronic ambient noise and arbitrary classical cues, both of which take turns playing nearly uninterrupted. Enticing when it goes off the rails, the majority of the running time is unwatchably dull, with a hillbilly hunter family trading inconsequential, badly recorded dialog with each other until something more head-scratching happens.
(1984)
Dir - Nick Castle
Overall: GOOD
For his second directorial effort post playing the OG Michael Myers, Nick Castle tackled the general audience-friendly space opera The Last Starfighter, which is historically notable as one of the first films to utilize CGI, be it in its primitive, Fortran programing language form. A lower-quality off-shoot of the Star Wars boom as were many others, the script by Jonathan R. Betuel is formulaic in nature where the safety of both the universe and our protagonist, (played by Lance Guest in a dual role as the title character and an android clone of himself), is never in serious question. This is hardly an issue considering the popcorn-munching tone though, which throws in enough intergalactic action sequences, colorful alien characters, and a couple of jokes for the grownups to keep everyone happy. The aforementioned digital effects are naturally as dated as can be and worth nothing except chuckles from modern audiences, yet the practical ones, set and creature design, plus the model work are all formidable. It may lack memorable villains and be too cutesy for its own good, but its charming simplicity is difficult to vehemently disapprove of.
(1986)
Dir - Nico Mastorakis
Overall: MEH
Nico Mastorakis returns to his native Greece with the direct-to-video The Wind, (The Edge of Terror, Terror's Edge); another trashy horror outing for his own production company Omega Pictures. Filmed and set in the tied island of Monemvasia, it has genre regulars Meg Foster and Wings Hauser squaring off against each other in the remote locale after the former witnesses the latter murdering his employer/her landlord, played with eccentric charm by English character actor Robert Morley. Things begin sluggish and allude to a possible supernatural component concerning the wind of the title which violently wails away after two different characters spout warnings about it. From the second act onward though, it divulges into a bog-standard cat-and-mouse slasher that has Hauser doing his usual mugging shtick and Foster cut-off from help by way of a temperamentally not-working telephone line. Due to its formulaic nature and sluggish pace, nothing interesting or suspenseful happens for upwards of ninety-minutes, but at least the ending is laugh-out-loud stupid and easily one of the laziest ever filmed in any piece of slasher garbage out there. So yes, when your only memorable moment is also the most embarrassing one, then you clearly have a dud on your hands.
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