(1984)
Dir - Edmund Purdom
Overall: WOOF
Derivative, boring, cheap, and stupid, Don't Open till Christmas is arguably even more forgettable than the countless other Holiday slasher movies vomited out during the sub-genre's abysmal heyday. The only directorial effort from actor Edmund Purdom, (who also appears on screen here as a police chief), the production was problematic as Purdom clashed with producers and ultimately quit during filming, forcing things to shut down. Shooting resumed with both writer Derek Ford and editor Ray Selfe taking over as director and several actors getting recast before Purdom eventually returned to finish the job. The kill scenes are lazily uncreative and since the entire premise revolves around some asshole going around killing people who are wearing Santa costumes, said kill scenes are even more predictable than usual for a slasher movie. In other words, every time that we see someone dressed as Ole St. Nick, we know that a razor blade to the gut, neck, or groin is only mere seconds away. With no tension or inventive tweaks to the painfully tired formula, the only thing that it has going for it is a hilariously random, half-a-musical number with Caroline Munroe, doubling as her only scene in the whole movie for reasons that only the gods could know.
(1985)
Dir - Freddie Francis
Overall: MEH
A throwback to not only period-set Gothic horror but also the often filmed Burke and Hare true story, The Doctor and the Devils was Freddie Francis' penultimate work from behind the lens and one that brings together an assortment of respectable thespians. Timothy Dalton, Jonathan Pryce, Stephen Rea, Julian Sands, Twiggy, and Patrick Stewart deliver melodramatic performances to varying degrees, with Dalton in particular chewing the scenery as the smirking, stubbornly determined doctor of the title who scoffs at legal roadblocks and Christian morality when it comes to advancing science. Also, Pryce and Rea are appropriately vile as the deplorable body snatchers who pathetically succumb to backstabbing and madness. Financed by Mel Brooks and utilizing an initial script from Dylan Thomas, it boasts much of the latter's evocative language which the actors seem to be willingly sinking their teeth into. Unfortunately though, the presentation is dreary and dull in its grimy 19th century London setting and not enough life is breathed into the familiar source material to warrant yet another humdrum interpretation of it, regardless of the meaty performances.
(1988)
Dir - Harley Cokeliss
Overall: MEH
One of several A Nightmare on Elm Street knock-offs at least in spirit, Dream Demon has a more muddled narrative that arbitrarily explore its fantasy elements. Director/co-writer Harley Cokeliss had primarily worked within the sci-fi genre, with this serving as his first exclusive foray into horror. It also features one of the 1980s favorite stoner character actors in Kathleen Wilhoite who plays a more mysterious and toned-down version of her usual quirky comic relief self. Though it was technically released theatrically in the UK, it is aesthetically akin to bog-standard genre fodder of the straight-to-video variety with an incessant choral keyboard score, primitive gore effects, Dutch angles, and much fog. There are some interesting set pieces and it is a plus that a large portion of screen time is dedicated to elaborate nightmare sequences that even done on a clearly modest budget, still produce some weird, macabre results. The plotting is thin and does not land anywhere substantial, mostly because the story never bothers to establish its supernatural rules let alone follow any. Viewers will be able to figure out the twist long before the characters do and the ending sacrifices coherency for sheer bombast, as well as a pointless comedic tag just before the credits hit. Still, it has some fun moments and keeps things plowing along into hellish bizarro land, as it should.
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