(1980)
Dir - Richard Shorr/Herbert L. Strock
Overall: MEH
A comedic version of Fritz Leiber Jr.'s 1943 novel Conjure Wife, Witches' Brew, (Which Witch Is Which?), also serves as a rare directorial effort from sound man Richard Shorr. That said, veteran Herbert L. Strock was also brought in to shoot additional scenes but in any event, their powers combined do not produce the most invigorating of results. It follows the bare-bones premise of a logic-headed college professor whose wife practices the occult arts in order to further his career. When she stops doing so in order to teach hubby a lesson, things go wrong for awhile until he finally admits to the merits of supernatural mumbo jumbo so that the balance can be restored. Teri Garr, Lana Turner, and reliable goofball Richard Benjamin head the cast, (also, Angus Scrimm is apparently in there somewhere), and while nothing funny happens, the movie seems to have the best intentions in its attempts. Up until the final act where things get more dire, the disco-heavy music is goofy and the tone is lighthearted, even when a demon inexplicably hatches from a stone egg statue, a bitter student opens fire on a parking lot, and Garr has a nervous breakdown while driving off of a bridge.
(1986)
Dir - Paul Leder
Overall: MEH
This blandly executed thriller was one of a handle of genre works from filmmaker Paul Leder, boasting a premise that is both flimsy and uninteresting. The Eleventh Commandment, (Body Count), has a rich asshole who murders his brother and incarcerates his nephew because money, but the whole nephew thing actually ends up being a logical idea since he proves to be a schizoid murderer that simultaneously claims that everyone else is sinful and evil. This nephew easily escapes the loony bin by stabbing a hard-assed nurse and stealing a set of keys from James Avery, (yes THAT James Avery), and then proceeds to stab anyone else who gets suspicious of him while he kidnaps his nine year-old niece who adores him. Bernard White makes a ridiculous villain, wanting to help the poor, follow his priesthood, and treating his niece lovingly while also murdering people left and right and raving about a sinful plague across the land, but all of the other main players here are loathsome scumbags who are engaging in shady deals with each other. If Leder's presentation was more sleazy and high-octane, then everyone's lousy behavior would actually be entertaining to watch. Instead, this is sterile and awkward stuff.
(1989)
Dir - Mike Cribben
Overall: WOOF
Troma dipping its sleazy toes into the killer kid sub-genre, Beware! Children at Play, (Goblins, Caution! Kids Are Playing, Warning! Children, Attention! Enfants), is the only film to be directed by Mike Cribben who turns in a crude bit of exploitation that at least seems to be in on its own stupidity. Coming from an only-time filmmaker with what looks like the smallest amount of money at his disposal, it is typically amateurish of such D-rent productions. The asinine plot is padded with white people sitting around and talking about the asinine plot, the music sounds like it is made up of Casio keyboard samples, the gore effects are one notch above Hershell Gordon Lewis territory, the performances are crap, and the dialog is crap. So in other words, it checks off all the boxes for bad movie fans. "Thankfully" though, this is a gleefully tasteless bit of work that utilities the disturbed premise of feral children in the woods who murder, rape, and eat any grown-up that they can out-number. When the film remembers what its unsavory objective is, it provides some gnarly fun, plus at least the kid actors look like they are enjoying themselves in the ridiculous finale when they all get brutally murdered by religious local yokels.
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