(1980)
Dir - George Bowers
Overall: MEH
Overall: MEH
Actor Trish Van Devere and her aggressive mom hair appeared in two supernatural horror films back to back in 1980, The Changeling and The Hearse, and the latter easily ending up being the less impressive one. The directorial debut from editor George Bowers, this is mostly just a cliche fest, be it a well-intended one. Van Devere inherits her creepy aunt's old country house, the locals are rude to her, she falls in love with a guy who is clearly a ghost even though it takes her about an hour's worth of running time to figure that out, a priest yells Bible things at the house while trying to exorcise it, none of the supernatural events can be verified by anyone ergo Van Devere just looks crazy, etc. Bowers goes for a Southern Gothic aesthetic, but the movie ends up with a bland presentation that is better suited for the small screen than something theatrically released, let alone something that could compete with the era's more gore-ridden slasher crud rocks. The horror elements leave much to be desired, the plot is predictable, the ending is lackluster, and the horns on the soundtrack sound ridiculous, but at least Joseph Cotten got to play a smug and crotchety asshole.
(1984)
Dir - Myron J. Gold
Overall: WOOF
Along with slasher movies and boner comedies, the 1980s had a particular liking for horror nyuck fests, and Frankenstein's Great Aunt Tillie is a nonsensical, sterile, and obnoxious one for the books. A British/American co-production that was shot in Mexico (which is code for "shot cheaply"), this was the last film to be directed by screenwriter/producer Myron J. Gold. Donald Pleasence was never offered a paycheck that he would not accept and he knows the assignment well enough here, but unfortunately the assignment is a thankless one that requires him to embarrass himself in every one of his frames. He mumbles, eats, sings, wears a dress, and wears a toupee while mugging as much as possible because all of these things equal "comedy" of course. Minor scream queen Yvonne Furneaux and former Playmate June Wilkinson and her gigantic boobs join Pleasence in such hogwash and neither one of them comes off any better, but blaming the film's terribleness on the performers is like blaming it on the film stock. Gold's script is asinine if not borderline incoherent and despite its consistently juvenile tone, not an inkling of humor lands. Yes there is a Karloff-inspired Monster, but even the most dedicated of Frankenstein fans would be well-advised to flee to the hills instead of partaking.
(1989)
Dir - Gary Winick
Overall: MEH
Frequently embarrassing and persistently mean-spirited, Curfew is the debut from director Gary Winick and it can be boiled down to "What if Cape Fear had two Robert Mitchums and also sucked". A pair of scumbag sociopaths who also happen to be brothers escape from prison and go on a brief vengeance spree before house-crashing a district attorney that they blame for their incarceration. Frank Miller, (no not THAT Frank Miller), is said district attorney who keeps his teenage daughter on a tight leash, telling her to obey her early curfew when she goes out with another scumbag on the high school football team. Everyone eventually ends up at the same abode, most of them die, all of them are stupid, and Christopher Knight also collects a paycheck as a bumbling police officer whose basis of operations seems to be a roadside dinner that he rarely leaves. Whether it is the bad guys torturing people or hollering like obnoxious assholes, Winick stages things in a clumsy manner that gives the whole thing a schlocky tone despite its attempts at being a disturbing home invasion movie. The musical score by Cengiz Yaltkaya is one of the worst in any genre work from the decade; loud, cheap, persistent, and distracting, it makes an already dopey bit of exploitation that much more irritating.
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