(1982)
Dir - Sergio Martino
Overall: WOOF
Possibly the worst directorial effort from Sergio Martino, The Scorpion with Two Tails, (Assassinio al cimitero etrusco, Murder in the Etruscan Cemetery), was his final entry in supernatural horror, though he continued to work prolifically in other genres for the next several decades. Perhaps partially inspired by Raiders of the Lost Arc which offered up a slew of similar temple/lost treasure adventures on both sides of the Atlantic, this France/Italian co-production was initially set to be an eight-part television serial yet was mercifully cut down to a still grueling ninety-eight minutes. Lucio Fulci collaborator Fabio Frizzi delivers some hooky if incessant music, screenwriters Dardano Sacchetti and Ernesto Gastaldi had plenty of similar credits on their resume, plus Euro-trash regulars Claudio Cassinelli, Paolo Malco, and John Saxon, (in a minor capacity), are all present. Even with such sure-fire personnel and arguably Italy's second best giallo filmmaker Martino behind the lens, the results are snore-inducing crap. People get murdered by having their heads turned around backwards, maggots show up a lot, there is a well-decorated tomb, Elvire Audray's millionaire dad has a side hustle selling heroin, and characters that never make an impression just prattle on with each other until we reach some kind of conclusion involving a double-cross.
(1982)
Dir - Carlo Vanzina
Overall: MEH
The sibling duo of Enrico and Carlo Vanzina channeled Jean-Jacques Beineix's 1981 cinéma du look thriller Diva with their own ambitious giallo variant Dagger Eyes, (Mystère, Murder Near Perfect). Broken up into chapters and scoring Bond girl Carole Bouquet in the lead as a high-end, femme fatale lady of the evening, it adheres to long established film noir tropes as much as it does "black gloved killers with inventive means of murdering people" ones. The dialog is snappy and most of the characters glide through things with a cool-as-a-cucumber charm that bypasses the type of melodramatic silliness that most Euro exploitation adheres to. Even the disco-heavy score by Armando Trovajoli is less tacky than it should be, helping to enhance a smooth and erotic tale of double-crossing characters who adhere to their own rules. Things are more interesting in the first act where we spend a significant amount of time with Bouquet and her classy call girl lifestyle, but the rudimentary plot runs out of momentum even before we reach a rushed and disappointing finale. Apparently, the Vanzina brothers wanted to shoot a more downtrodden ending, but producers insisted on an uplifting one which is handled in a clumsy manner at best.
(1988)
Dir - Giuliano Carnimeo
Overall: MEH
The penultimate film from director Giuliano Carnimeo, Ratman, (Quella villa in fondo al parco), is a typical exploitation snooze-fest, one that is punctuated by some nasty kills and peppered with a cornball synth musical score by Stefano Mainetti. This was one of only three movies to feature two-foot, four-inch tall Dominican actor Nelson de la Rosa, who would more famously show up as Marlon Brando's prop lackey in the infamous The Island of Dr. Moreau from 1996. As the title creature who was created by Pepito Guerra's scientist by crossing rodent semen with a monkey because dumb, Rosa makes few appearance, squeaking, leaping, and clawing away at hapless individuals who cross his path. There is a little T&A to appease sleaze aficionados and Euro-horror fans will recognize a few of the faces that are on board, but Carnimeo's direction is lifeless and Roberto Girometti's cinematography leaves just as much to de desired. The first two acts are sluggish enough with Janet Ågren going into morgues only to try and convince the police that the dead ratman victims are not her sister, but it eventually settles into a just as lackluster slasher framework where Eva Grimaldi tries to fend off her tiny mutant attacker. At least the final closing credit tag is a fun and campy note to go out on.
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